wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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