What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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