After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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