Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize