youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize