it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize