i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
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I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
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Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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