My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
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I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
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She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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