i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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