I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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