Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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