getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize