Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize