I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
there's paper in my vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
My orgasm happened in two different decades
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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