I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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