its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
you will always have a special place in my vag
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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