It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize