Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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