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The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
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