i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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