Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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