I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize