He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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