Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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