the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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