girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize