May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize