god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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