he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize