Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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