i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
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I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
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I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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