At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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