ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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