You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
even my farts smell like vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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