I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
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He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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