then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize