she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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