went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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