i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize