I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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