I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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