So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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