Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize