he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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