Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
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So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
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Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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