I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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