Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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