I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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