We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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