does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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