if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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